When reaching out to your network, focus on connection, not the “big ask”
By Jim Wiederhold
In the career transition journey, there are some things you can control and some things you can’t. This is especially true when reaching out to people you’d like to connect with to expand your network. You can try to create touch points, but you can’t make them call you back. However, there are some steps you can take to increase the likelihood of making a connection with that person, and forming a relationship where there’s something in it for both parties.
Do your homework.
Laziness in preparation is going to keep you from success. Before you connect with someone, you need to spend some time researching them and their organization. Work through your current network to see if you know someone who has a relationship with this person. Rather than immediately asking for an introduction to the person you want to connect with, ask for insight into this person instead. Those insights will allow you to create a conversation once you do reach out to them.
Reach out with reciprocity in mind.
Once you’ve taken time to research, leverage that info you’ve collected to create an opportunity for a conversation that makes it easy for them to say yes to your request to connect. Most people enjoy talking about themselves or what they’re passionate about. You don’t want to ask for a lot of time (just 20-30 minutes), but tell them you want to hear their story, about how they got into the field, or how they discovered their passion. Show that you’ve learned something about them and want to learn something from them.
Too often, we’re so anxious to get through the process that we skip all that. We go straight to telling them exactly what we want to get out of this—a job, to sell them something, etc. If you don’t create a relationship by starting a conversation, you are making it hard for them to say yes. It takes four to six months to develop a relationship to the point where you can make these kinds of big asks, and you absolutely cannot rush it. This is why I believe it’s so important to develop relationships early while you are gainfully employed, not once you’re in transition.