How to tell your exit story honestly while honoring your former organization (and yourself)
By Jim Wiederhold
No matter whether someone leaves his or her company under positive or negative circumstances, everyone struggles with their “exit story.” I’ve had the privilege of helping healthcare leaders in career transition for over three decades, and I can’t tell you how many exit stories I’ve heard from many different perspectives—recruiters, employers, and people going through the exit process. Some stories are straightforward, the details of other stories are overwhelming.
Learning to tell your exit story is the toughest part of transition for most people. Often, executives don’t realize they’re in trouble in their current position. They don’t observe what’s going on around them or take the time to gather feedback, so they get blindsided. Having to come to terms with those circumstances hurts. But if you are in transition, it is essential to your future success to find a way to tell your exit story honestly, concisely, and with a forward-looking mindset.
Work through your emotions.
The first response to an exit is usually emotional. Fear, anxiety, and depression all come into play when you have a very tough and challenging exit story. This is to be expected. But too often, people start talking to others about why they left their former position before they take the time to work through these emotions. When you’re hurting, you’re going to talk about it. It’ll creep into every conversation.
When you share your story too soon, the message you’re sending will almost certainly be riddled with inconsistencies and perceived as negative, which will be damaging to you and the organization. The first step, then, in crafting your exit story is to shut your mouth. Take some time to get your mental and emotional health in check. The only person you should talk to about your exit at this stage is your partner or a trustworthy friend.
Aim for a win-win.
The best way to start preparing your exit story is to write it down exactly the way it happened. Include an explanation about why it happened, such as strained relationships, corporate politics, business decisions, or job performance (which I find is rarely the primary reason these days). From there, the goal is to find a way to tell the story where both you and your former employer come out looking good. This will likely take the help of a coach or confidant who has no emotional involvement with your story.
